Dream of River

River

In my dream, I was out on a country road walking when I heard a noise behind me. I turned and saw our dog River, who had passed away last July. She was running toward me. I took in her black and white fur as it moved with the wind. I thought to myself, "How can this be? I buried her." She reached me, and I hugged her. "River, it's you!" I was overwhelmed with joy.

Suddenly, like dreams, the scene switches to a short time later. River and I were at a local event along a roadway. There were 5 or 6 dogs there, all growling at each other. I called River to come here, so she would stop barking. She didn't listen. I called again. She kept barking. Something was off. She usually listened. I began to worry. Then she was next to me as I talked to a friend of my sons, and she was wearing the leash she had always worn when the two of us were out walking. It was dragging on the ground.

I said to Jonathan, "River's back!" Jonathan said, "No. That's so-and-so's dog (I can't remember the person's name)". 

"What?" I looked down at River and slowly realized she wasn't my dog. She only looked like River. My heart sank. I mean, it dropped as low as a heart could drop when you've lost a dog, then suddenly realized you didn't, and then you did again.

No, this can't be. I could hardly believe it. I considered taking the dog anyway, so I could pretend the dog was River. Then I realized someone else would be just as devastated as me, never seeing their dog again. And so I left and was right where my dream began, walking alone on a country road.

Every crevice of my existence still longs to see her again. And so I spent my morning crying.